Avoidance Is a Systems Signal
I once had a client ask me, “What do you think the number one problem with humanity is?”
Without hesitation, I said:
“Avoidance.”
As someone who gets caught in my own avoidance loops from time to time — hello, task I put off for two weeks only to discover it took less than ten minutes — I get it.
Avoidance makes sense.
And it is quietly eroding more parts of our lives, businesses, and well-being than we realize.
But here’s where HARE Systems is going to make this (avoidance) useful (instead of overwhelming):
Avoidance is not always a motivation problem. In small businesses, avoidance is often a system’s signal.
It can be a sign that something is too vague, too hidden, too emotionally loaded, too dependent on memory, or too complicated to start when your capacity is already low.
So before we call ourselves lazy, inconsistent, bad at business, or “just not disciplined enough,” let’s actually look at the loop.
Start Here: What Are You Avoiding?
Let’s try a quick thought experiment; we LOVE a good experiment!
Wherever you are in your breath, sigh it out through your mouth.
Next, take the biggest breath you’ve taken all day (maybe even ALL WEEK).
Then, just like before, let that shit go.
Now think of avoidance.
Ask yourself:
What is the first thing that pops into your mind?
What is the first sensation you notice in your body?
What is stopping you from doing the thing you’re avoiding?
A quick note: if you’re newer to noticing your body and “feeling your feelings”, “stress” is not technically a sensation or a feeling. Stress might be the story. The sensation might be tightness, pressure, tingling, heat, buzzing, heaviness, nausea, a clenched jaw, or shoulders creeping up toward your ears like they’re trying to flee the scene (of what crime, we do not know).
Because we believe it’s important to show your work, here’s an example.
What pops into my mind?
My to-do list. Please do not ask me what’s on it.
What do I feel in my body?
Tightness in my chest. My shoulders rise toward my ears. Very hunchy. Very scrunchy. Not my best ergonomic moment.
What is stopping me?
I can’t even be specific about what I’m avoiding because the list itself feels like a fog machine. The friction feels like overwhelm:
There’s too much to do and not enough time to do it.
Want the practical tool that goes with this Field Note? Download The Avoidance Loop Breaker.
Is That True, or Does It Just Feel True?
Let’s hang out with that last part for a moment:
There’s too much to do and not enough time to do it.
Is that actually true?
Or does it feel true because the task is unclear, the steps are hidden, and your brain is trying to hold the whole business together with vibes, memory, three half-used notebooks, and probably too much caffeine?
When I look at the calendar, the things I want to do and the things I need to do can feel like they’re competing.
So I avoid the “need to do” tasks because they feel overwhelming.
Then I lose more time.
Then the task feels even bigger.
Then I avoid it more.
See the issue?
That is what we call a negative feedback loop.
Or, what we in the “business” call: a never-ending cycle of suck.
The Avoidance Loop
Avoidance usually doesn’t start because you are careless, or even because you’re procrastinating (although that can be part of the problem).
It often starts because there is too much friction between where you are and what the task requires.
That friction might look like:
The next step is not clear.
The task has too many hidden parts.
You have to search five different places for the information.
You need to make too many decisions before you can begin.
The task brings up shame, fear, resentment, or pressure.
The system only works when you have high energy and perfect focus.
The whole process depends on you remembering what “later” was supposed to mean.
This is especially common for solopreneurs, small business owners, neurodivergent entrepreneurs, burned-out service providers, creatives, and anyone who is good at their actual work but drowning in the backend.
And this is where we need to stop treating avoidance like a personal failure and start treating it like operational data.
Because if you keep avoiding the same task, workflow, platform, inbox, spreadsheet, content plan, client follow-up, or financial review, the question is not just:
Why can’t I make myself do this?
The better question is:
Where is the friction?
The Way Out Is Smaller Than You Think
What if I told you that the way out of the avoidance loop is not to suddenly become a brand-new, optimized, morning-routine-having version of yourself?
What if the way out is to do one small, specific part of the thing you’ve been avoiding?
Before we all crash out, hear me out.
In behavioral psychology, there’s a concept called behavioral momentum.
Behavioral momentum is the idea that completing a small, doable action can create enough “oomph” to help you keep going.
Not because you magically became more disciplined.
Not because you yelled at yourself hard enough.
But because starting reduces the weight of not starting.
For example, if replying to emails feels impossible, you might begin by opening your inbox and deleting or archiving anything that does not need a response.
You are not “doing email” yet.
You are clearing the runway.
That small action can create enough movement to make the next step feel more possible.
This pairs well with another behavioral concept called shaping.
Shaping means gradually building toward the full task by reinforcing smaller steps along the way.
Instead of expecting yourself to go from “avoiding the entire thing” to “fully completed, perfectly executed, inbox zero, taxes filed, website updated, content batched, personality healed,” you build the behavior in pieces.
Tiny step.
Small step.
Next step.
Useful step.
Done-enough step.
That is how you move from:
Avoid.
Avoid.
Avoid some more.
Panic.
Shame spiral.
Do everything at the last minute.
Promise you’ll never do this again.
Repeat.
To:
Notice the loop.
Name the task.
Find the friction.
Take one visible step.
Build a better system.
Your Avoidance Is Giving You Information
This is the part we care about most at HARE Systems:
Avoidance is information.
If you avoid your inbox, maybe your communication system has too many entry points.
If you avoid your bookkeeping, your financial review process may be too vague.
If you avoid posting content, maybe your ideas are scattered across too many apps.
If you avoid following up with leads, maybe you do not have a clear client pipeline.
If you avoid delegating, maybe your process exists only in your head.
If you avoid planning, maybe your planning system asks you to predict a version of yourself who has unlimited capacity and no interruptions.
And respectfully (no shade)…
That person does not exist.
A good system should not require you to be at your best all the time.
A good system should reduce friction, support memory, clarify next steps, and help the business keep functioning during hard seasons.
That is human-centered operations.
Try This: The Smallest Useful Step
Pick one thing you have been avoiding.
Not your whole life.
Not your entire business.
One thing.
Now ask:
What is the smallest useful step I can take that would make this task less foggy?
Not complete.
Not perfect.
Less foggy.
Examples:
Open the document.
Rename the file.
Write the subject line.
List the missing information.
Put the deadline on the calendar.
Find the login.
Move the task out of your brain and into your project tracker.
Make a messy bullet list.
Send the “I need more time” email.
Create the folder.
Delete five irrelevant emails.
Write the first sentence.
Decide what “done” actually means.
That is the tiny step.
That is the beginning of momentum.
That is how we stop treating avoidance as a moral issue and start using it as a map.
Finding the patterns in our inaction can lead to creative action.
Get Out of the Loop
Behavioral momentum and shaping can help reduce friction in your brain, business, and beyond.
But the bigger lesson is this:
If you are avoiding something over and over again, the task probably needs more structure, more clarity, or a smaller, more accessible entry point.
You do not need a system that only works when you are focused, energized, emotionally regulated, hydrated, well-rested, and caught up on literally everything.
You need a system that works for an actual human.
Curious to give it a try?
Download The Avoidance Loop Breaker — a free worksheet to help you name the task, find the friction, and take the next smallest useful step.
